I have been rather quiet the past two hours. Hubby is just next to me , making a lot of noise while trying to finish up his CCA report. But I have not talked to him at all.

I am feeling melancholic. Or sad. Or just plain oblivious.

I think it is because of this coming Friday. The day when I'll see students again. The start of yet another year ahead , which would be full of projects , work and horrible , disgusting eyebags. I wouldn't say that I am not motivated to start work again ..just that ... I dun know... I think almost all teachers can emphatise with me at the moment.

On a happier note, I had a wonderful time with my ex-colleagues yesterday. It was kind of a last-minute decision to invite them over for lunch at my crib.BUt I sure am glad that we went thru it. I think ( no , I am EXTREMELY sure ) that no one regretted coming. I was really happy to be able to spend time chatting, gossipping , eating and laughing with them. Even the other half mentioned that I was glowing. We took numerous photos at the end of the day and I ( shamelessly ) admit that I looked good without any make - up ..because I was radiating with happiness....hahhaa...gosh ...I wish I am going back to sch , with them around me.

I shall try to perk myself up... I shall I shall....
It has been 2 mths or so since my last update.

It's the sch hols now which ,unfortunately though, will be ending in abt 2 weeks. Stupid shit lah . I seriously dun feel like going back to sch and face all those works again. NOt that I hate doing it but I somehow am getting used to the idea of staying at home . . :P

Anyway, I've got a nephew now. Yes , I am officially an auntie . haha. The baby's name is Mustaqim. He is so cute , so adorable and so so so fat now. I can never get enuff of him and keep snapping pictures of him whenever I go back to mummy's place. At home, I'll repeatedly look at his photos and talk abt him. Husby has even expressed his "jealousy" over my slight obsession. Haha...but husby darling , u know that u r the only man in my life ...:P

On the other hand, perhaps, it is just my maternal instinct that has kicked in. I have , on numerous ocassions, imagined having my own baby , cradling it to sleep , watching it grow...I have even talked to husby many times on how I picture life to be or how I would set rules and all that so that my future child will be nurtured well.We have even thought of some possible names, and it sometimes sends chill down my spine whenever I think of the possibility of not being able to get pregnant and all. At the moment, we are just letting nature takes its course. Insyallah , if God wills it , we would have a child to call our own. Hopefully, soon.

So .... it has been an eventful yr end hols. My darling underwent a knee surgery in mid-NOv and was pretty immobile for almost a month . He is now walking on crutches and it will probably take him another month or so to be able to walk as per normal. Kesian my sayang.... I couldn't imagine the pain he went thru in the initial days . Just lying on the sofa bed and not being able to move much must be one tough task for him as he had always been a very active person. Well, on one hand , he gets all the rest he deserves after all the work throughout the year.... otherwise, I can still imagine him working his butt off...CCA lah , meetings lah , SOW lah , Planning lah....

As for me, I think I kinda like it. Of course not the fact that he can't move and all. But I have grown accustomed to the fact that I wake up, attend to his needs, cook , do housework , chat with him , kiss him , hug him , kiss him again , hug again...dot dot dot !!! ( think Mamma Mia ... hehhee ) .. Well, some pple might have commented that it is really unfortunate that I am not able to go out and enjoy my hols, go on a trip or sthg before sch starts. On the contrary, I think this particular episode has brought me even closer to my husband. I am grateful to be able to be there for him in his time of needs and in a way , I feel myself improving as a wife.Insyaallah. I am now doing things that I never thought I would or be able to ... It may seem trivial to others but I have always, honestly, suffered from some kind of inferiority complex. I often thought very small of myself and had always been very afraid that I can never be a gd wife. Like stated, it is easy for a wife to go to heaven if she performs her wifey and religious duties faithfully. I am far from the target but at least now, I feel that I am able to do it, given more time. Insyaallah.

No one reads my blog anymore, I think . But I dun care. It feels good to ocassionally pen down my thoughts and feelings.

If u , my darling Husby, happens to read this anytime at all... I just want to say that you are a wonderful husband. May God bless you in this world and thereafter . You deserve the best and I hope I would be able to take care of you all your life. I love you , sayang.