Love is Bliss...But so is retail therapy: Qualities of A Guy (to look out for)...

What makes one so sure that the significant other is the perfect one?

I guess (unless you are really lucky), there can never be a 100% certainty if that is really the one before one decides to get married. I was very sure I wanted to be with him but I was not 100% sure it was going to be easy or it was to be a happily-ever-after kind of story.

To make it slightly more complicated, he was on the rather religious side  so during our dating period, there was not much of intimacy. No holding hands (my friends are still amazed by this), no cuddling , limited expressions of love... but what touched me was that whatever he did, I could feel that it was with much sincerity and honesty. I was not sure if he would love me fully for what I am but he said he did. And since he was always so sincere, I took it all in :)

No regrets.

I think everyone should have some guidelines in finding that perfect partner (ok , he may not be perfect but perfect for you lah...)... I am going to say this from a lady's point of view but I guess, it can work both ways.

1) HONESTY

Of course that occasional 'lies' like for the purpose of surprising you on birthdays / anniversaries should be acceptable ... or even small things like saying "No , you are not fat" just to please you. I also believe that it is alright to keep some matters to yourself , for example, you feel down but you don't show it to protect the other party's interest.But other than that , honest to the core. Husby is. He is honest about where he goes, what he does... and if he is going out with colleagues (with females around) or he is giving some female colleagues a lift home from a course, he would always call me first.

Not that I mind lah... I am not so narrow-minded but I appreciate what he does.

2) HE'S GOT YOUR BACK

Ok, this is very important! I think it is very crucial to have a partner who supports you in whatever you do (as long as it is legal and not immoral). He loves his mum a lot but being an older person , there are definitely times when we feel her thoughts are rather out-dated or impractical. But husby never let himself get caught in between. If he feels I am right, he will talk to his mum and try , as patiently as he could, to let her understand our situation. If he thinks I need advice or reprimanding, he does not hesitate to do so.

Maybe it is just in the Malay community (others too?), but mothers always seem to be very protective over sons. But I am glad husby manages to keep everything well. I love my mum-in-law :)

3) HE'S FUN

OMG. Yes, Husby is sooooooooo fun! I am quite crazy and will do quirky things at times. I used to fear that once we are married, I will feel restricted and all.... but no! I think he is crazier than me . He is the person I have the most fun with ! Life with him is madness! I LIKE!

4) HE'S WILLING TO WORK

Oh gosh... this is so him. Husby LOVES to work. He is such a workaholic that it drives me crazy sometimes. But well, at least that shows he is a responsible guy.

5) VIOLENCE HAS NO PLACE IN HIS LIFE

Whatever happens, a guy should never use violence to express his anger. Unless, of course, he catches you sleeping around or cheating on him...then you deserve a big , tight slap! Hehe.... Husby seldom gets angry with me but if he does, the most that happens is that he will raise his voice. And I get scared already... Hahaha.... Anyway, I've warned him before. If he ever dares to kick me or something, I'll kick him back 20 times fold!

6) UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Whether you suddenly develop stretch marks, grow fat or lose all your money, his love doesn't fade. I have not grown super fat yet (I hope never!) but I know that I can give him lots of shit. Especially with my spending habits.... :P ... but yeah, I know that he loves me far beyond all that ...and I am not sure if I am able to give him all the love and care he deserves ( I do get lazy sometimes ... and insist on not cooking). Tsk Tsk.

I guess, if your boyfriend has all the above qualities, he would make a good husband material. Or , if you are like me, who could only find out after marriage, well... at least, you can be sure your husband is for keeps!

I have only been married for 2 years plus and some may feel that it is too short a time to conclude anything... but I know that I am very happy and I've made the right choice in accepting him as the perfect one for me.

I pray that will be for eternity.