Do marriage and divorce come together?

Why did I get married?

Why do people get married?

My first few dating months with husby (who was then my boyfriend) were happy moments yet, shaky and insecure at the same time. We separated, only to decide to be together again nine months after the break-up. Nine months is a pretty long time , in my opinion, to decide to retract the decision.

However, it was during those nine torturous months that I realised he was the only man  I wanted to be with. I could not imagine spending my old days with anyone else. So far , I feel that getting married to him is the best thing that has ever happened in my life.

So, I get very disturbed when I hear about divorce. Just this year alone, I have heard/seen divorces among people I know. And it hurts.

Many cite irreconcilable differences - so Chinese drama, right? And these cases I know involve people of various age groups with different lengths of marriage period. The shortest is about one year of marriage.

I am not sure where I stand on this case.

For older couples , perhaps the extra responsibilties that come with kids and the ever increasing expenses, stuffs at work or just being BORED with the other half and looking for greener pasture , could be the reasons. Not very acceptable ones though... but I was just trying to come up with excuses.

But to get divorced in 6 months? 1 year? Didn't you guys date? Shouldn't all couples learn to know each other better before taking the huge plunge to get hitched?

I mean , not being able to withstand your partner's snores or squeezing toothpaste in a way not yours hardly justifies irreconcilable differences. It must be something more serious, right?

The latest case I heard is a year marriage that crumbled because the wife was not able to accomodate to the husband's low salary. The man brings home , probably about $1500 max, and does OT often just so to provide for his new family (wife). Apparently, she wanted more and got upset when he was not able to fulfil her wishes. I know there might be other more serious reasons (like no time for her since he works so hard) but seriously? What kind of dumb excuse is that? She knows the guy does not earn much all this while . She, herself, was just working in a fast-food outlet... so shouldn't she understand the need for them to live a simple life? Shouldn't she appreciate the husband's efforts to better their lives?

I just don't get it. It was barely one year.

On the other hand, I have friends who do not believe in marriage. They date , some cohabit, some do not .... but they stick by each other. To them, marriage is just a piece of paper. If one is really committed to the partner, one more certificate in the collection makes no difference.

Well, although I am someone who feels that marriage should be the goal of (serious) dating couples, I respect those people with such mindsets. I mean , with no official commitments, it is even easier to stray , isn't it? But these few people I know have proven many wrong with their high level of commitment to their partners.

My point is , if you are not ready , then don't sign!

It seems that marriage is taken like a game and there have been more than a few cases of people (that I know of) who get hitched and divorced at whims ! Sigh....

I pray for all loving couples out there (ourselves too!) - may our love blossom even more with each passing year and may we learn to appreciate our loved ones .

Some people cannot even be with their loved ones, you know.